Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because that is all we will ever be?

i walk out the door like theres nothing wrong
but someone always seems to notice there is.
all i think about is the yelling and screaming.
i just wish it could stop.
morning goes by all fucked up.
the rest of the day is fucked up too.
nothing ever goes rite in my life.
the yelling is bcuz of me
its always bcuz of me.
it bcuz i cant do anything rite
do i really act like he says i do.
did i get my attidude from him?
if i do what can i do?
he says i use him
but i dont
i cry everyday for him
i wish he knew what i wanted.
i wish he knew how much he meant to me!
because he really means the whole world to me
i want him to understand me
nobody knows how much i love him
nobody knows how much i care
will he ever stop his ways
would he do it for me?
if i mean so much to him
why does he do this?
does he even notice me?
does he even know i excist any more?
all i can say is what happend?
and hope it gets better
i want him to open his eyes and see what kind of pain he puts me through
and let him know how much i love him
i appreciate him so much
but i cant live with him living like this now
just stop and open your eyes to see what you do to me
and i want to say is that i really really love you
because you are my only dad
there is no other dad better than you!